Stickies and Cubicles

It's funny, the lack of enthusiasm that ensues six months after graduation. Maybe I'll be generous and say eight. It's odd to think about the way I felt when I first moved to California. Excited, eager, enthused... all traits that have seemingly disappeared from me when I probably need them most, save for surfing and shows.

I can't remember whether or not I've always been this way. My father characterizes it as "blase." So French!
Hah. In any case, most days of the week I feel as if my life has been reduced to a cluster of ugly faded yellow post-it notes. Reminders of what I'm supposed to do, where I'm supposed to be, what I'm supposed to pick up. Shopping lists, deadlines, store numbers, sales... it's really kind of amazing to think about how many of those I probably go through a week.



Red pens, too. Big fat red ones if something's important. Or if someone stole my black one. I guess fresh out of college, everything might seem exciting and new. I feel like I used to be pretty ambitious. Sometimes I wonder what things would be like if I stayed on this path... earn a median income, have kids, work 9-5 in a job I am ambivalent about, and eventually have a salary peak at $80,000. Maybe a little less responsibility for $60,000 but more time in the water. There's some new movie coming out with Leo Dicaprio and Kate Winslet about a man who feels he's meant for something bigger- and convinces himself he is, until he realizes he's just... average.

I have a job interview tomorrow. I can't say that I am thrilled about it. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be crazy about Excel sheets, financial forecasting, and social dresses. The sad thing is, I really am kind of into the whole forecasting thing. Maybe I have too much on my mind? Home, unimportant people, surfing, applications, big fat red pen deadlines.

There's this book out by a surfer named Jon Rose. I think it's called "When life hands you lemons." Not to be confused with the new Atmosphere disc, it's a photography book about life, its simplicities, and taking a step back to kind of take it all in. I guess this post is really going nowhere. I just think that sometimes we all need to take a step back. I know I try to on a daily basis. I wish I knew how to drum.