That's how I feel about every month. Upon my arrival back to Hilo, I find myself stumbling about (but perhaps more exhaustively), the same old routine. Wake up, eat, digest, surf. Since the latter has been rather disappointing lately I've found myself really perturbed.
Summer's beginning to end and a new semester will arrive, along with several thousands worth of rent, tuition, and books. Sometimes I feel like I opened a door and then there's just another wall. Like I'm walking through a narrow corridor that I want to get out of. In any case, I know I don't have anything to complain about, really. Perhaps a Zoloft pill would work.
The trip to Indonesia was amazing. I still think that surfers are some of the most beautiful and soulful people on the planet. It's easy to get caught up in all of it. All too easy I suppose. So now it's back to concrete and crowds and more summer sun. I wish I could be surrounded by such great people all the time. In reality, I fear that once I begin work and "life" I'll be so jaded from a life among great friends, that I'll be quite disappointed by other people. I get bored easily. I am sorry that I can't be something everyone wants. I sometimes feel like I'm running away, or am scared to do things or be the person someone wants. But then, maybe it was never meant to be that way in the first place. Qu'est que-ce?
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