this and that

Law Review Deux

2010-06-25T23:08:00.000-07:00

So, I finally completed it! I refuse to spend more than 9 hours on the write-on competition so now I'm done. It feels liberating.

Tomorrow I am moving to a new part of town, and in a week or so I'll be home. Can't believe it! So much crap to take care of before I leave though, but such is life.

All in all, I'd have to say that my life in Portland as of now is good... can't wait for newness.

Until then though, it's all summer and colors and tan and surfing and saltwater.

25

2010-06-24T01:32:00.000-07:00

It doesn't feel much different from 24. I guess I just feel older.

I feel like last summer was just here, but I think that's the way things go when you're in your mid-20s. Aaah, it's weird that I'm saying "mid-20's." Too much to think about... too stressed out about law review right now. Waah.

Stars

2010-06-20T22:54:00.000-07:00

Last week I went to see the band STARS play at the Aladdin theater. It was one of those shows you go to- that make you like band more/appreciate their music more. They played their entire new album. I enjoyed it thoroughly. On a whole, I feel like the album is pretty dancy and a bit poppier than some of their older stuff, but very much lovely.

Then, this weekend I biked around PDX with some good friends, and essentially couldn't walk the next day. Last night was comprised of a pre-birthday, birthday celebration for my friend ImHan and I. It was quite lovely. I mean... everyone I wanted there was there which was nice. We also have a lot of carrot cake left.

Also I got these for my birthday:

Cute huh? I don't know what to wear them with, though.

Summer is here!

2010-06-17T00:41:00.000-07:00

So, even though the weather is in the 50's right now... I'd have to say that I am definitely getting some summer vibes.

You know what summer means... sun, tan, saltwater, surf, and friends. Thus far, this has been a bit of a stretch from what my summer has consisted of but I shall be home in almost 2 weeks and everything should be back in balance.

In an ode to being away from home, I decided to find the hippest surf blog I could find and stumbled upon this gem... If you haven't seen it, watch it:

hidden camera from pinchmysalt.tv on Vimeo.

Tonight I played Scattegories with Patrick and Sara. While I continued to demonstrate my lack of knowledge about mammals, birds, eggs, and geography in general, I still had a good time. They are after all, my built-in family here in PDX.

Law Review

2010-05-25T21:15:00.000-07:00

So it is now summer and it doesn't feel much like summer at all. Air temperature is 50 degrees, I proofread a textbook 8 hours per day, and don't get to work out.

I do get to drink, though. Which in all honesty is getting to be quite boring.

Anyways, back to the title of this post. I feel like everyone is attempting to write on to law review. Ultimately, it is one line on your resume and supposedly looks really great. The only reason that I am even thinking of attempting to write on is because all of my friends (okay, maybe even non-friends) are attempting to do the same. In all honesty, the idea of fact checking and editing 30 hours per week during the semester (unpaid) doesn't appeal to me at all.

I don't know. I hate trying to fit into prototypes. They're boring.

On a side note, I do like the grizzly bear:

Spring

2010-03-28T21:12:00.000-07:00

Six weeks until summer.
Just got back from the 415 for break. It was odd being back there, and not living there. I miss the City so much. Also, it was nice to be reminded that I have a life outside of law school.

Playing ball with boys who think they can ball isn't that fun. I miss surfing and being tan. Oh well, only 6 more weeks. Can do.

march

2010-03-07T02:36:00.000-08:00

In a year I will know, says Lana.
The end.
I had that feeling in the pit of my stomach that I haven't felt for a really long time. Since last May, actually. Imagine that.

Maybe it's just December

2009-12-08T23:45:00.001-08:00

I feel busy and incomplete at the same time. Like everyone has these separate, REAL lives outside of law school. I don't.
I guess I felt like coming to school in Portland would fill this part of my life that I thought needed filling. I've had this continual problem of boredom since I was about 19. I'm not sure that it was that way in San Francisco. In fact, I'd been okay up until last February.

I sometimes think I took the "easy" way out by coming here for school, because it was a shitty time to look for a new job and I just was completely disgusted with the idea of having to go through interviews. School seemed promising, and like a great opportunity to meet new people and expand my mind and views. Thus far though, I don't feel like I've been LIVING.

Not sure if that makes any sense. It might be because it's finals and everything is ridiculously routine right now. Eat, sleep, study, work out, study. Soon it will be winter break and everyone will be going back to their lives before law school. Their respective friends, significant others, families. It's not like I don't have any friends or family- it's just that I feel almost pigeon-holed into this life that I'm not sure I'm completely happy with.

I had received this golf ball analogy e-mail that was kind of sappy but sweet, and true. It's easy to get caught up here with school, and things that need to be done. In some respects I've built a life for myself here, but it's hard to say that I'm completely content because I feel so isolated from things that are real and close to me. Mainly, my friends and family and the ocean. I just miss road tripping and living and breathing and having fun. Not to say that school is completely unfun. It's interesting and has this odd way of bringing people together. However I still feel completely divergent from people that were prominent in my life before this and I don't like it.

I guess that's it.

the postal service

2009-10-13T20:14:00.000-07:00

I remember this album from awhile ago and it never gets old...

There's something about listening to it when it is cold and I am lonely that is quite pleasant.
Do you ever get the feel that your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?

Squares and Circles

2009-10-08T22:20:00.000-07:00

I feel like I've been consumed by school and the aspects of newness since I've moved here. It's crazy how fast the weeks go by.

Anyways. I guess I just don't want to lose sight of myself and become entangled in things here. I wish people would stop trying to fit squares into circles. Just be you.

Blessed

2009-08-24T21:26:00.001-07:00

Amidst this chaos of reading every waking hour, analyzing, and trying to find my footing in a new city, I'm so thankful for everything I've been given. Despite pretty much not talking to anyone in school and feeling pretty lonely, my friends from afar have gotten me through the past week. I feel so blessed for having such amazing people in my life and hope that each of them knows that, always.

In any case, it's another full day of school tomorrow and reading until I feel like my eyes might fall out. So whoever's reading this- I'm assuming you know me or are a friend- Thanks.

!!!

2009-08-23T22:43:00.001-07:00

I have no feelings to write about, because all I do is read all daaaaay.

You are what you love.

2009-08-12T03:32:00.000-07:00

you are what you love, and not what loves you back.

and i'm in love with illusion so saw me in half. i'm in love with tricks so pull another rabbit out of your hat.

Leaving you behind

2009-08-10T01:17:00.000-07:00

I'm blogging this because it should be twittered because it should be listened to because it's my favorite song this week. So far.

Four days

2009-08-08T17:45:00.001-07:00

As summer comes to an end, I'm left with this weird feeling. It's not an overly excited feeling, nor is it terribly sad. It sometimes feels suffocating, and the only thing that alleviates it is surfing.

I guess I'm just scared. Things are so safe in Hilo. I'm not sure how I feel about going back to California to visit. Going to Portland and starting over and going to school is kind of an overwhelming idea. I have been unemployed for the last 3 months, with not a lot to occupy myself. It's been quite a trip seeing kids I went to highschool with and THEIR kids. It's all moving so fast, and I guess I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with that.

I just want to surf. I like this photo because you can tell I'm smiling in it:

The end.

defining yourself.

2009-07-27T01:08:00.000-07:00

I'm still on the Shelter Island book. Today I read a chapter on writing out goals, revising them annually, and breaking them down into week-long goals. The author suggested separating them into wealth-building, health, personal relationship, and personal growth and development goals (all long-term). I thought that now would be a good time to really think about them. I'm 24, on a certain path, and am often by distracted by things, people, etc.

There's a section on Maslow's hierarchy of needs and reaching self-actualization. Though I am far from there (not so sure about the lower part of my pyramid), there was an interesting point on self-actualizers and their traits. One part reads "One can choose to go back towards safety or move forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again." I think that this is probably true. Mainly for personal and business aspects of life. Personal and professional growth cannot typically be attained without risk and rough patches. I guess this is something I will try to take with me to Oregon.

ANYWAYS... back to my goals.

Assist with economic development while simultaneously balancing conservation
Contribute to the education and growth of alternative energy sources (Professional)
Own a house near the coast so I can surf
Never stop surfing (Health)
Eat to live, not live to eat (Health)
Maintain relationships with everyone that matters to me in life, but remember the non-attachment chapter in Everyday Suchness (Relationships)
Have an open mind
Never stop learning and growing and moving
TRAVEL. Australia and do another surf trip. SOON.
Respect myself (and make sure I surround myself with people that do as well)
Get married and raise a family
Be content in general
Live truthfully and empathetically
Do a longboarding contest before I'm 30

I don't really agree with the whole setting goals for yourself with the relationship side. I mean I guess it would be a goal, but I guess I just don't believe in setting a timeline for things like that. Well I think this is a good starting point, I'm sure it'd be best to make 100 copies because I'd lose some. Need to keep a large list next to my calendar. There's obviously a bunch of other things I'd like to do. But that's more of a bucket list.

bijoux

2009-07-18T01:25:00.000-07:00

I want to surf forever. Chase waves always. Have fun sessions with my friends until I'm too old to move. Check out Jon Jon at like, 7.

Aah.

This intro reminds me of North Shore missions, raging until 3 a.m., sleeping on the sand at Log Cabins, and spray painting boards with Allie.

Whenever I hear this song, it's so comforting- just reminds me of Hawaii and surfing and warmth.

I just don't know what I'm going to do without it in Oregon.

Everyday Suchness

2009-07-15T02:29:00.000-07:00

I'm reading the above book, it's pretty magnificent.

An excerpt from an essay on Non Attachment

"Non-attachment is not detachment or indifference or escape. We should not become indifferent to life's problems. Life should not be escaped; it cannot be escaped if one is sincere. Life and its problems must be squarely faced and dealt with, but they are not things to become attached to.

Attachment to favorable conditions leads to greed and false optimism while attachment to unfavorable conditions leads to resentment and pessimism. Certainly, our attachment to things, conditions, feelings and ideas is much more troublesome than we realize.

Life is changing; all things are changing; all conditions are changing. So let things go.

Many people become attached to the past or the future, and neglect the important present. We must live the best "now" with full responsibility.

ALL things in life; let them come and let them go. This is a secret of life that keeps one from being upset or neurotic."

This particular entry is something I could relate to a lot this summer. More importantly, it addresses the idea of letting go while not becoming apathetic. It's true. To be truly sincere and genuine and honest, showing both front and back is to not be indifferent but to simultaneously let things come and go. Also to live in the moment. Just a few good lines I thought I'd share.

I'm also reading The Secret of Shelter Island. I am so excited about these books!

love and basketball

2009-07-10T21:49:00.000-07:00

I had one of those weird "contemplate life" moments again today. Paradoxically (or rather not), I had attended a memorial service for my high school basketball coach. He was my coach for three years or so, and probably the most memorable coach I've had in my six or so years of playing basketball.

I actually miss the days, hours, and seemingly infinite minutes of sprints we'd do to prepare for the actual 32 minute game. I miss basketball, the discipline it gave me, and the built-in family of girls I had for four years. I can compare it to surfing in the sense that it built a network of people across the island. It's different in that it was much more disciplined, practiced, and team-oriented, obviously.

It seems like such a long time ago that I've actually touched a basketball, let alone play indoors. It's weird how it all passes by so fast. The odd thing is that I'd found a book he'd given me after graduation when I was cleaning my room out a few weeks ago. I wondered how he was, because he was just that type of mentor that you'll never forget. Several days later my mom told me he'd drowned. To think, I really hadn't thought about him in the past year or two.

It was surprising to see how many people came out to the service today. Well I guess it wasn't really a surprise, it was expected because he'd coached so many different teams over the years. What struck me is how well-remembered he was for being a good, spiritual person that was passionate for life. Someone that always found humor in any situation. These words are not my own, but the speakers at the service. At the same time, they resonate within me because that's exactly how I remember him.

His daughter mentioned that he was connected to everyone because he was always so open, unassuming, and unpretentious. I thought that was a good characterization of him, and of people that tend to be open and honest, yet impactful.

It made me think about life and how I'd want people to remember me. Who would show up at my funeral? Not to sound morbid or anything, but it's just a thought. In any case, I can only hope to reach out to as many people as he did, and make a difference (positively) as he did.

His son had a really short and sweet note. He mentioned how we should all tell the ones we care about how much we appreciate them and love them because one day they'll be gone. Good point. I think the main gist is to not take those we care about for granted. I know I have a lot of people to be thankful for. Fooo shoo.

Abientot.

Surfing

2009-07-07T01:30:00.000-07:00

I wonder if my dad regrets teaching me how to surf.

Today he asked if I ever get tired of surfing. He said that he gets tired if the waves aren't that good. There was a tone in his voice that suggested that my time would be better spent doing other things like taking out the trash, or going to the recycling center. I however, responded "no."

Because it's true. It's funny how consumed by surfing I've become in my four weeks here. When I first got back I didn't really need to surf everyday, if not twice a day. Now it's a time filler, social activity, fitness routine, etc. Sometimes I get frustrated by the amount of judging that my dad does. Also the amount of bitching. I'm actually really looking forward to living in Portland just to get away.

In any case, I don't mind surfing everyday. I appreciate life more when I do surf and i know that it's something that I won't be able to have conveniently in the next three years of my life. I think I appreciate it more here, because I know what it's like to freeze my ass off for crappy 1 to 2 foot beach break close outs. Anyways, that's my spiel. I'm tired. I need to go to bed so I can surf before the wind's on it. Haha.

Summer reading

2009-07-04T02:59:00.000-07:00

I just finished the Alchemist when I was on Oahu. I enjoyed it a lot, thought it was fitting for the place I'm at right now.

I just ordered two new books from Amazon. One is called "Everyday Suchness" and is a collection of Buddhist essays. I read part of it the other week and enjoyed it. The other is called "The Secret of Shelter Island." Basically, I was trying to hit the $25 mark on Amazon so that I could get free shipping so the second book was kind of an impulse buy. It should be an interesting read though. It's written by a financial analyst and is about money, why it matters to people, and how it fits into life. I think it is also a spiritual book, but quite disparate from the other read.

I loooove reading these days. Music's still going strong. As is surfing!!!

If I ruled the world.

2009-07-02T02:11:00.000-07:00

I've been listening to the Fugees lately. The above is obviously not the Fugees. HOWEVER, I like this guy a lot- his album is pretty good, liiidat.

Had a pretty fun trip to Oahu. For some reason, I felt pretty serene on the flight back to H town (my H town that is).
Finished my book, "The Alchemist." Going to let go. I am enjoying this sun.

twenty-four

2009-06-24T17:20:00.000-07:00

Usually around birthdays, I become reflective and nostalgic. I think I've been doing that for the past month, so I guess I don't have much to say, as it's all been drained out of me. My 23rd year was pretty great. I didn't have many expectations, yet the subsequent 12 months following my 23rd birthday were filled with a lot of wonderful experiences, people, and places.

So as I approach a new year in my life, I don't want to have any expectations. I'm just going to roll with it. In other news, I applied for around $40,000 in student loans. So by the time I'm 44 i should have them all paid off, HAHA.

I had a really good birthday session today though. It was pretty glorious and glassy. Good waves, good friends, good food, good times.

xoxo

p.s. I need a board with a fatter ass. Some badunkadunk.

Life

2009-06-20T03:13:00.001-07:00

It's weird. I know you only have one life to live but in a way I feel there are multiple lives that people have within their existence. I hope this doesn't sound too weird, it's just how I've been feeling.

There's the life you're living now- What you're doing this very second, or where/when/who you surround yourself with in the present.
There's the life you left behind- This is both figurative and literal. Time passes, so there are people, experiences, and sometimes even tangible places that are no longer a part of the present. Sometimes you leave by choice, sometimes not.
There's the life that you want to live- An amalgamation of everything you do in the present to accomplish where you want to be at a certain point in time. This can change pretty frequently, over time.
Then there's the life that you come back to- More often than not (at least for me anyway), it's more often a place you come back to. It's probably not the same as it was when you left it.

I guess in a way it's past, present, and future. I'm beginning to wonder when these lives will intersect. For some people, they are continuous and intertwined. Personally I feel that these sections of my life can be cut into pieces, divided and distinct from one another. I think that people that live in multiple places for an extended period of time may relate to this concept better. I also think that life you want to live changes every time that one is exposed to new and different things. Complacency becomes an issue when you gain knowledge. Unless you're one of those people that know what they want from age 7.

I'm almost 24 and I guess I'm still having trouble grasping this concept of separation. When the place you come back to isn't what you anticipated, or you become unsure of where you want to be- where does that leave you in the present? What happens do the people in your life that were so prominent in the past, but aren't there in the present- or most saddening, in the future? Life is a culmination of experiences that molds perceptions, values, and personalities- but are they ever changing? What stability and security exists between these (sometimes) non-intersecting lines in your life?

Good thing I have surfing to distract me.

love letters

2009-06-16T16:02:00.000-07:00

Upon cleaning out my desk, I've stumbled upon letters from people I've had in my life at various points. In particular, there was one really great one from my friend Ryan. It included this blueprint of how awesome it would be if me, Allie, him, and Kika all lived in a house together. Please note the "no myspace allowed" notation in the study room.

I've been thinking a lot about the past recently, but it's only because I'm home. I feel like I'm in this weird interim phase where I'm constantly reflecting on things that happened my last few months in SF, and even things from the past that these letters remind me of, but I'm still thinking/worried about going to school in the Fall. In any case, these letters make me happy and sad at the same time. This idea of having people in and out seems to be a recurring theme in my life since I've been 17. I think the letter from Ryan was dated in 2006, because that's when he went on his trip. I feel like lately I've been more inclined to reach out to people from the past, and it's this awkward fumbling reaching.

I only have two more months here, so it should be interesting. A lot more cleaning up and nostalgia to follow.

the beautiful girls

2009-06-14T00:03:00.001-07:00

I can't stop listening to them, they are so fitting in Hilo and for mellow summer days and nights.

Today I went to a friend's baby's first birthday. It's kind of crazy, almost every person there my age was in a serious relationship, married, engaged, or had a kid. I can't help but feel that I'm a little behind them- I mean I don't even have a serious boyfriend, let alone any prospects. Haha.

In any case, it's definitely interesting being back home. It's weird and comfortable at the same time, some things in this town never change. It was a little odd seeing people I grew up with being parents. I can't imagine having a kid at this point in my life, but they make it seem pretty normal here.

I am going to Oahu in a few weeks so I'm hoping it will be a welcome change from this small town life. It should be good to see the boys again and maybe even go out. Today's the first day I've worn makeup in a week, which is kind of nice. I miss a lot of things about San Francisco, mainly my friends and having people to spend time with that are more aligned with me in terms of where they are in their lives. Oh well, I'm sure I won't want to leave by the end of summer.

Stickiness of Summer

2009-06-10T01:29:00.000-07:00

Summers in Hilo always tend to be moist, sunny, humid, and hot. I forgot how unpleasant this makes going on runs... haha.

It's nice to be back home, but kind of suffocating at the same time. It's the first time I've ever come back to visit that I don't have the same strong desire to move back to Hilo I once did. I feel this weird disconnect from the people here, I guess because I haven't really "lived" here since I was 18. I've been finding out a lot lately that dreams and goals you may want at 18, 20, 23... may not be what you want six weeks, months, or years later. Figuring out what exactly you want for yourself can be difficult, but the other challenge is responding to these ever-shifting priorities, ideas, and people in your life.

I've always been indecisive, but I don't know that I've ever made a drastic decision that I've completely regretted. I suppose I've just been having more time to think about my path in life, and where exactly I want to end up. It's pretty heavy stuff, but life's about the journey right? Okay my head hurts from thinking too much.

Other than that, Annie came to visit and we did a crap ton of things since Friday...
We did dinner at Cafe Pesto, Hilo Farmer's Market, KTA poke mission, Volcano, Honolii sessions, snorkeling at 69's, Kona trip, Saddle Road drive, Malasadas, Waipio, Akaka falls, Rainbow Falls, 4 miles, Kahaluu crazy surf session, and a lot of eating. AWESOME.

two towns from me

2009-05-30T02:13:00.000-07:00

It's funny, really.

I'm pretty confident about my decision to attend school in Portland. It's bittersweet, but I'm really OK with leaving. I do just want to play scrabble and learn more about people, their lives, their stories, and how it's shaped who they've become. I feel like I've been able to do this a lot within the impending days to my departure.

I haven't "lived" at home since I was 18. Four years on Oahu, two years in SF, and three more in Portland. I ate at this restaurant called Cafe Gratitude for dinner tonight, and it had some pretty positive messages on their little dinner cards. I'm really happy about where I am in my life right now. I feel like everything does happen for a reason, and everything has been kind of pushing me toward Portland the past month or two.

I only have five more days here. I've been soaking it up the past few weeks. I think I'll ALWAYS have love for the city. In fact, I'm falling more in love with it the more I explore, talk to people, and cruise around. But it will always be here. Life calls...

time and space

2009-05-26T12:48:00.000-07:00

I'm listening to the YYYs right now. Kind of LOVE their new album.

This trip was well worth the $100 ticket I paid. It's kind of crazy how much I gained being around people that are so familiar, yet disconnected. I know if I go away for school it will be this way with most of the people I've encountered in San Francisco.

I feel okay with this. Obviously there are people I wish I could keep in my life continuously, but I know that this is not how life works. This trip was a really good refresher and gave me a lot of perspective on things, people, the paths we each take and what we become. It's not that I want to leave it all behind here, it's just that I'm ready to move forward. I get bored.

I'm pretty scared of getting my ass kicked in law school, but that's how it goes. My dad called to remind me about the essay I'd written. I'm trying to keep my long term goals in mind. I think it's pretty important to be exposed to as many different things as possible at this age, but I'm still not sure if that means LIVING in a place. In any case, I'm 92% sure. Haha.

Hawaii in a week, it's blowing my mind.

3 rounds and a sound

2009-05-20T00:39:00.001-07:00

I feel better today. This evening. I have a headache though, not sure what's up with that.

Time to move on.

Amazing

2009-05-18T18:30:00.000-07:00

Listening to Kanye and Young Jeezy.

I'm beginning to lose my trust in boys. I couldn't have asked for a better, more supportive network of friends here. He told me that getting your heart crinkled was a part of life. It is, but I feel like it's been crumpled into a ball over the past seven years. Or folded many times over.

In any case, I know I have to move onward and forward. I've gotten a lot of good advice over the past few days... From family and friends. From his friends. I need to keep progressing and learning and moving. I'm still confused about where I'm going to college. I don't want to run away from things when they are tough and I want to go where I'll be happy.

Jon Riley says to meet as many people as possible. My dad says to just look forward and focus on myself. Don't lose trust in people. Not everyone's shitty.

Anyways, I feel like I've been through this multiple times. I know I'll be better eventually but it sucks knowing I'll have to go through these initial periods of sadness again.

Oh man. I wonder what things would have been like had I made the other decision. O is so effing nice.

End for today.

Everything in Moderation

2009-05-12T22:38:00.000-07:00

I feel imbalanced lately. Almost suffocated and drained at the same time. Initially I was pretty unsure about my decision to move to Portland, but the past few days have helped to reinforce my desire to leave. I'm not sure why, but I'm just kind of unhappy right now. I mean SF is great and all, but maybe it's the right time for me to leave. The scariest thing is knowing that I will be completely submerged in school. Hopefully it won't be as hard the second time.

I really miss my friends and family back home. There's something reassuring and secure about being there. Well I guess the deadline for UH passed so I don't really have the option. I guess I've just been missing my friends there A LOT. I'm pretty over the mentality here. Anyways I guess it's only 3 more weeks.

Wednesday, evening.

2009-04-01T23:00:00.000-07:00

I really like the new Metric album. Can't get enough of it...
So I'm nearing the end of work, it's crazy to think that I only have 4 weeks left. I feel like I've been so busy lately. Busy the past 2 weeks to where I haven't taken a step back to really sort through the clutter (both literally and figuratively) of my law school papers, financial aid award documents, and evaluate my options rationally and unemotionally.

Tonight Naila and Annie came over to make cupcakes and they turned out pretty awesome. Tomorrow night we are supposed to go to a potluck at Eddie's so hopefully that will be fun. I've been having weird stomach problems since the weekend- not sure what it is. Hmm. I had no cavities when I went to the dentist on Saturday, yippee!

Okay I'm thinking too much these days. Time to just chillax...

Counting

2009-03-21T20:20:00.000-07:00

I feel like a bulk of my time is spent counting these days... Looking at sales numbers, trying to figure out what to order, how much money to spend, budgeting and forecasting. When I run, I'm constantly counting down the blocks until I reach home. Counting down the hours until my day is done at work...

I haven't been counting down the days till I go home yet, but I've definitely been thinking/dreaming a lot about my return. I watched "Young Guns 3" today- the Quiksilver film with all the rippers. Oh man I really miss surfing warm tropical water without a wetsuit. Anyways... I guess that's all for now. It's been kind of an intense weekend thus far and I'm ready to take it easy tonight.

Help, I'm alive.

2009-03-13T21:57:00.000-07:00

Can you hear my heart beating like a hammer?

Oh man this song/album is ridiculously catchy. Definitely a bit different from their older stuff, but I'm pretty stoked on Metric in general.

I've been thinking about things... life, processes, the uncomfortableness of moving, the past few days. I think it's due to the way this week flew by, and the next five will. The more I pull together reports and analyses for the impending consolidation, the more I'm forced to realistically assess my options for the next few months. I've been working on a spreadsheet of schools I've been accepted to and there are a number of factors that will influence my decision. I've accepted the fact that by the time I am 27 I will have acquired between $90,000 and $115,000 in debt, and can only hope that I will be able to pay it back in less than a decade.

In addition to purely quantitative factors (bar passage rates, costs of living), there are also a number of other aspects to consider. While I intend to spend the majority of my time hunched over books and a computer, I feel like I'll need to at least enjoy the place I am living. Portland does seem really nice though... and peaceful... Obviously coursework, clinical training, and employment opportunities are also important. Mainly career prospects and real-life training are important.

Mehh. I feel like I can't evaluate all of these things by mid-April when I don't even know all of my options. C'est tout. Bon nuit.

Just close the door

2009-03-09T22:11:00.000-07:00

You can watch final four and just float away...

I don't think that Rilo K may ever get old. Although I'm not that pumped on 1/2 of their "blacklight" songs.

To do:
1. Research schools
2. Deal with financial aid
3. car shiz
4. Rent termination

Just need to remind myself of these things so I don't forget...

March week 1

2009-03-01T22:19:00.000-08:00

I really like the above Pinback song. I'm not sure if it's the official video, but it's pretty much a winner song.

So this weekend annie and I saw ra ra riot at the Independent. Cut off your hands opened for them and they were pretty much magical. Their bassist was also extremely attractive. haha.

Anyways then I surfed yesterday and today. I've been feeling a little eems- so I guess I need to take some time out for myself. I've been meaning to do this anyway- mainly realign my goals, as I have some pretty big decisions to make really soon. I definitely need some time to regroup and think about things.

I want to play the guitar more... I want to surf more... i want to feel connected more. I miss Hawaii a lot. I'm not sure that's really the solution though. I wish I was in a band, haha. That'd be pretty fun. Touring that is, and then just making people super stoked on your shows...

Raw Sugar

2009-02-22T15:24:00.000-08:00

This Metric album is pretty rad! It just fits a rainy Sunday, I guess.
This morning I woke up at 7 a.m. and started to clean the bathroom, kitchen, etc. It was a little strange. I feel like I've never really completely moved in here. I don't know if I've ever felt at home anywhere in the Bay Area since moving here almost two years ago. I guess I never really identified San Francisco as "home," hence the feeling of never being completely settled.

In July my lease will be up and I will have spent two years living here. I feel like I'm almost ready to come home. Or that in four months I will be ready to come home. Maybe I just need to regroup. I'm also thinking Portland might be pretty cool. However, I'm not too stoked on cloudy, rainy, cold weather so I'll probably have to think about that one more. School is becoming a more realistic option than ever.

My FAFSA is due this week... well end of the week, sooo bleh. I guess I've just been into Emily Haines recently...

Vday.

2009-02-12T22:08:00.000-08:00

So my kidney is a little sore today but I'm thinking if I continue the antibiotics- or hoping, rather that the pain will subside by tomorrow afternoon. Tonight me and Annie made some cupcakes and they turned out pretty good. We made them (well not the frosting) from scratch, and they turned out really good! Secret ingredient!

Other than that, things have been moving along really slowly. I feel like I'm waiting for the semester to be over. Only 2.5 more weeks... but it seems so far from now. At least I'll get a nice break. Hopefully the weather will be nice by then as well. Work has been mediocre- just kind of boring. It's weird working at a place that you know you won't be in a few months...

I wonder what my life would have been like had I actually continued on the merchant career path. I still don't know what it's going to be like without it. Sometimes I feel really one dimensional, like I need to branch out and try new things. I don't remember when I became so introverted, either. Or when I became so annoyed with crowds of people. Crowds of drunk people. I think its' different because when you go out in Hawaii, you know most people at wherever you're going out- just because it's the same scene. I don't know, maybe I don't know enough people here to do that- but everyone feels so random.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't ever feel really "connected" to anyone here when I go out. But I suppose it's expected. Can't really compare years of familiar faces with a 18 months of unfamiliar, random ones.

Anyways, I don't have any plans for Vday. I'm going to get a smog check- but nothing else really. I'm thinking that I might chillax and read... weather's supposed to be shittay.

2009-02-09T20:44:00.000-08:00

So today was an interesting day- work went by pretty fast. Not surprisingly... had a bunch of reports to do, etc. I feel like I have a lot on my plate but I don't think I really do. I mean I have a lot of decisions to make, but ehhh.

I also fell down the street today- like literally tripped down Noriega street. I'm not sure if anyone saw, or if the busload of people that went by just didn't say anything- you know those Asians are super passive. Annie came over for dinner and we had leftovers, and THEN she told me she had gotten us Lily Allen tickets, which I am extremely excited about ! I've never been to the Warfield before so it should be a fun time. Other than that shows have been kind of going through a dry spell. I might want to go to Santa Cruz to surf this weekend.... meehhhh.

Love in the ruins

2009-02-03T22:19:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the French Kicks are SO good. So in case you were on planet clueless the past days (JK I know the world doesn't revolve around me), here is what has happened to me in the past WEEK (7 days):

1. Got accepted to law school
2. Got a promotion with a nice pay increase
3. Got a car
4. Celebrated Chinese New year with the family
5. Surfed 3x (I'm trying to mix up the positives here)...
6. Had my new and old position cut at work (precise last day TBD)

So I'm not really sure where all of this leaves me. Throw into the equation the added responsibility of car payments, insurance, and a lease that ends after my last day of work. I guess I'll have a better clue of where I am headed in the next couple of months. It's still weird how a surf session can still manage to clear my head and make me feel 50x better about everything. Maybe that's all I really need in life- to be able to surf almost every day. That would maybe keep me satisfied.

Man this economy is horrible. In some ways I thought that it would affect the retail industry eventually, just not where I was at this soon. Weird. In other news, I found this band called Florence and the Machines. She has this song called "Dog Days are Over" which is kind of a winner. I'll let everyone know what's up when I get my head on better.

Sunday afternoon

2009-01-25T12:43:00.000-08:00

I don't remember at what point I started becoming so self-centered. Or maybe it's vice versa?

Today I took a "personal" day (a whole day to myself doing whatever I wanted). It felt really good.
I think for the past few weeks 80% of my attention has been devoted to one person. It's not the good, selfless type of devotion either. The remaining 20% went to friends, family, work, car shopping, etc.

Clearly this is not an adequate balance. Sometimes it's nice to get a moment of solitude where I don't have to deal with spreadsheets, plans, etc. Of course, time alone has to be balanced with all of the above. I feel like I've been spreading myself to thin, or in places where I shouldn't. Soooo this week I'm just going to try to be Zen and you know- get into work on time, live healthy, abstain from drinking 4 nights a week... Haha. Invest my time with people that matter most. Quality not quantity.

If I do end up getting a car, I think I should also try volunteering once or twice a month. Who's in?

Phil read me and Annie a book yesterday. I'm starting to agree with the whole "Want what you Have" idea.

I've also just started this book:

I liked his other books, and this one has more anecdotes, so I'm enjoying it thus far!

Playlist

2009-01-22T21:54:00.001-08:00

What an ass-kicking week.

Well day.

Songs I'm listening to this week, for some odd reason:

"Boys Boys Boys" Lady Gaga
"True Affection" The Blow. Such a KILLER song!
"Chills" Peter Bjorn and John. Your tongue is sharp, but I miss the taste of it.
"Mrs. Officer" Lil' Wayne
"Tiffany Blews" by FOB.

I'm pretty much rewinding to some pop-tastic days. Sometimes you need this kind of music, with a splash of eems on the side.

Homesick

2009-01-11T19:10:00.000-08:00

I really miss Hilo. It was a nice day here today, but the water was so cold. I bought booties today- they're 3 mm which is pretty thick. I got asked many times today why I wasn't wearing any booties so I finally decided to get some because I couldn't feel my feet and I thought it was impeding my surfing. I feel like it's hard to jump into living here again- especially when I got to cruise and hang out all day in Hilo/Honolulu. I feel like Hilo never really changes, I just get older. Oahu seems super crowded and I get a headache being in town. Anyways maybe after Annie gets back from LA things will start to get better.

Quotationary

2009-01-01T23:44:00.000-08:00

So far, this trip has been filled with some memorable quotes, so I'll start building now, as per Allison's suggestion.

"PAY ATTENTION!" Numero uno moke to my brother, when he wasn't being cognizant of the waves that proceeded to pass him.

"Snow! Snow! You guys, look snow!" Myself, on saddle road. It just happened to be a puddle of water with the reflection of clouds.

"Depends who you ask..." Because really, context is everything. haha.

"Gotta find the sweet spot!" Allie in reference to her footing on the board today.

"My tricep hurts- from Wii tennis."

"We're going to get you!" Kayakers to their SUP friend, before they came over and knocked him off his paddleboard.

"Chinese princess, here to save the day!" Joey B. as I paddled over and it started pouring.

"When are you coming back to Oahu after this? I miss living with you. I miss our dance parties!" Janelle.

"Don't believe me? Let's zoom in!" Planetarium speaker, guiding us through the galaxy.

"Well you probably WOULDN'T be awake at 4 a.m., unless you're an astronomer." See above.

"It's so complex- it's like mental gymnastics." My dad

"I feel like I worked out so hard last night- but I just got drunk." Laura Knudsen

"I did work out- sexercise!" Anonymous

Reflection

2008-12-30T22:46:00.000-08:00

Traditionally, this is the point of the year where I'm supposed to reflect on the past 12 months of my life, and figure out where I want to be and how I'm going to get there for 2009. In all honesty, I feel like I've been stagnant. I guess it's true professionally- I mean I'm pretty much exactly where I was last year, which is pretty SAD!

But other than that, friend-wise and maturity wise, I think I've grown up a bit more since last December, I'm not sure though. Every time I come back to Hilo i feel older and older. Faces get less familiar, or less recognizable. At the same time, it still feels like Hilo hasn't changed. I am 97% sure I will move back here eventually- hopefully in a few years. There's so much I love about this island and the people here. There is also a bit that could get routine really quickly. I do think that if you manage to settle in with a good career and a good family, it's a terrific place to live, so we'll see.

I'm going to visit Oahu on Friday, I'm actually pretty excited about that, so far my plans are to visit my old work, dinner with friends, hiking, surfing, and a visit to the apple store because my computer kind of sucks. Anyways, tomorrow I'm going to grind at my aunt's house, it's pretty much going to be a FEAST. Maybe I'll have a celebratory beverage or two- haha. There are a lot of things I'm really thankful for this year. It started off a bit rocky, but overall it's been good. I think I need more movement in 2009. Upward...

xoxo

Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown

2008-12-25T00:57:00.000-08:00

I'm missing 11 p.m. service tonight, will def try to go on Sunday =(
I'm too exhausted.

The past few hours here have served as a reminder of why I WILL move back eventually. It's too pretty. People are nice, they know my name. This is the most comfortable I've felt in a really long time. It's safe. It's warm. It's real. I feel loved. I love people here. Haha. I can't really elaborate any more or convey the amount of love I have for this town and the handful(s) of people that still reside here.

Updates with photos to follow.

Holiday Bake Recap

2008-12-21T22:40:00.001-08:00

So last night I had a Holiday Bake at my hale, and it went swimmingly- I'd like to think. It made me really excited to come back to Hawaii, and also really thankful that I've found a good group of people to spend some time with. Thanks to everyone who came out and helped, je t'aime! Special place in my heart!

Here are some highlights:

Swimmers

2008-12-18T22:30:00.000-08:00

Emily Haines sounds really good live. Don't watch our you'll feel dizzy.
This song has been on repeat for me for the past two months or so- I just really like it a lot. I'm glad the week is finally winding down, I also feel like I might be getting sick which is NO BUENO.

Anyways, this should be a busy weekend. I'll be sure to post photos of our bake party before Hawaii!

Seven Days.

2008-12-17T23:12:00.000-08:00

Period. I know the time until Hawaii will pass quickly, especially over the weekend. I don't think I can express the excitement I have for going home. Warm weather, good friends, good people, family, grinds, etc.

I actually can't wait to take those first steps down to Honoli'i. Barefoot so no one steals my slippers lidat. I think that the time away from SF will be a really good break, time to clear my head, and get grounded. My horoscope the other day mentioned something about taking a new step to improving myself. Things are starting to get monotonous this week...

Strict Machine

2008-12-15T20:10:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here drinking my cup of chamomile tea, procrastinating cleaning/working. However, I did clean the kitchen and put my groceries away. It's been ridiculously cold here, I think the low tonight is supposed to be 36 degrees. All of this makes me miss Hawaii... A LOT. haha. I checked hawaiisurfnews today and there was a photo (albeit not as slick as Surfline), but I knew it was somewhere on the BI. Made me so homesick! Oh well, only 9 more days!!! I might never come back... haha.

Anyways as I was doing the dishes I started listening to Uh Huh Her, which reminded me of Goldfrapp. I tried to find a cool video, but they are all pretty weird. I like this song a lot, it's one of their hits!

Ooh at the Ting Tings Sat night, Annie and I got double time hits on the dance floor. We were just about to walk out and THEN they started playing Aha "Take on Me" so OF COURSE we had to dance. Then, they started playing MGMT "Kids." That might have been the best dance session of the evening, as the rest of the time it was effing packed.

So pumped for Hawaii.

Stickies and Cubicles

2008-12-09T23:05:00.000-08:00

It's funny, the lack of enthusiasm that ensues six months after graduation. Maybe I'll be generous and say eight. It's odd to think about the way I felt when I first moved to California. Excited, eager, enthused... all traits that have seemingly disappeared from me when I probably need them most, save for surfing and shows.

I can't remember whether or not I've always been this way. My father characterizes it as "blase." So French!
Hah. In any case, most days of the week I feel as if my life has been reduced to a cluster of ugly faded yellow post-it notes. Reminders of what I'm supposed to do, where I'm supposed to be, what I'm supposed to pick up. Shopping lists, deadlines, store numbers, sales... it's really kind of amazing to think about how many of those I probably go through a week.

Red pens, too. Big fat red ones if something's important. Or if someone stole my black one. I guess fresh out of college, everything might seem exciting and new. I feel like I used to be pretty ambitious. Sometimes I wonder what things would be like if I stayed on this path... earn a median income, have kids, work 9-5 in a job I am ambivalent about, and eventually have a salary peak at $80,000. Maybe a little less responsibility for $60,000 but more time in the water. There's some new movie coming out with Leo Dicaprio and Kate Winslet about a man who feels he's meant for something bigger- and convinces himself he is, until he realizes he's just... average.

I have a job interview tomorrow. I can't say that I am thrilled about it. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be crazy about Excel sheets, financial forecasting, and social dresses. The sad thing is, I really am kind of into the whole forecasting thing. Maybe I have too much on my mind? Home, unimportant people, surfing, applications, big fat red pen deadlines.

There's this book out by a surfer named Jon Rose. I think it's called "When life hands you lemons." Not to be confused with the new Atmosphere disc, it's a photography book about life, its simplicities, and taking a step back to kind of take it all in. I guess this post is really going nowhere. I just think that sometimes we all need to take a step back. I know I try to on a daily basis. I wish I knew how to drum.

time

2008-12-08T23:50:00.000-08:00

Let's talk about how awesome this clock is:

Yeah, that's what I thought.

roots

2008-12-07T23:42:00.000-08:00

i just got the new britney spears album. i just wanted that song "circus." I think it's because ashley kept playing it over and over friday night. i'm a sucker for pop music.

i also just started listening to this singer named shelley short. you should check her out on daytrotter.com.

Your face is so pretty, you should be on a Christmas card!

2008-12-03T22:35:00.000-08:00

Watched this tonight. Can't wait to go home...

Don't long for the past... long for what comes next

2008-11-30T13:58:00.000-08:00

Oh man, I'm listening to Veda again. I don't think I'll ever get over them. Haha.

So I had a super epic LONG weekend, yet again! Yesterday Annie and I hiked from the cliff house to Land's End. It was super pretty out, we took Kira and she actually made it. Then we had burritos and ACAI smoothies, man that was awesome. After that I cruised around, watched the Warriors LOSE, and then we went out... with some asians... HAHA.

It was interesting. Basically we went to Bruno's and then ate tacos from some Mexicans off the street, YAYA. This a.m. we had an epic feast... see below...

I'm going to try and rent Step Brothers... or annie will. Has anyone seen that? I love Will Ferrell...

Hustle Rose

2008-11-28T18:47:00.001-08:00

I'm listening to the above song by Metric, so good! So this Thanksgiving I had a SWEET FEAST at my Uncle's house in Pleasant Hill- it was super chill, good food, good people, good times.

This a.m. I woke up with my cousin and went shopping at a TJ Maxx- haha looked for some dealZ. I can't really handle the whole downtown shopping experience thing. So anyways, here is a list of things I am thankful for:

my health, awesome family, good friends, cheap sushi, wireless Internet, and umm... yeah just everything! Life's been good to me recently so I can't complain. Hope you all had a fabo Thanksgiving...

Mondays...

2008-11-24T21:30:00.000-08:00

I used to look forward to Mondays when I first moved here. I know it sounds sad, but I think it's because I never really had much to do on weekends, and I wasn't really meshing well with everything here. Sadly (or rather fortunately?) those days are long gone and I had to pry myself out of bed to go to work this morning. I thought I was getting sick so I had some OJ, zinc lozenges, and I didn't even finish my coffee. I was super tired... from a KILLER weekend!

Saturday a.m. Annie and I woke up and drove to Santa Cruz. Stopped by Wadelle off the 1 and I found my cousin and his friend Dave in the water. Annie sat on the beach while I surfed with the brosephs, then we left and made BREAKFAST burritos at Dave's house.

That afternoon I tested out a new shortboard while my cousin and his friend taught Annie how to surf. She did super AWESOME and stood up several times. Man, I'm pretty sure she learned a lot faster than I did. She also lasted a really long time. She had this wetsuit with hot pink on it so I could see her from far away, Haha. Anyways we longboarded a bit and then ate dinner... ended up playing cards, drinking, and staying over in SC. We went out downtown (mind you we had no extra clothes whatsoever, and were ill-equipped). So I grabbed a plaid shirt, belt, and went out with NO MASCARA. Doesn't matter anyways I guess.

Anyways woke up yesterday a.m., drove back to the city, went moe moe and then woke up at 1. Surfed till 4:30, came in, ate with Annie and passed out. So YEAH I was tired today. But this weekend was super fun, so you know... I got a new board and surfed for about 8 hours over the weekend. SO WORTH IT.

I love this band! They're from Australia... oooh Annie and I are going to see the Ting Tings on December 13. Popsceeene.

remember this?

2008-11-19T22:58:00.001-08:00

makes me think of: vhs, tyler, allie, bp, north shore missions, spray painting boards, the 25 cent trolley.
pretty much pepper and everything manoa.
almond shaped barrels...

p.s. I want a new board for Christmas, in case you were wondering!

Dormir

2008-11-17T21:36:00.000-08:00

I'm going to bed! I'm so exhausted, yesterday I surfed most of my waking hours and watched this bad boy before I went to bed:

FYI: Waiaka is in this film at the 46 minute mark! Classic huh? I've watched it a crap ton but I only realized it now. It's from his moke days. Speaking of which, I can't wait until I get to go home and moke out and cruiseee liiidat.

Shoots Hawaiians. Haha.

epic

2008-11-15T19:40:00.001-08:00

this weekend has been super rad thus far. today it was 80 degrees and offshore and pretty macking.

flickr.com/photos/jessicalovesyou

c'est tout.

the good life

2008-11-13T22:04:00.000-08:00

Today was a super fun day. I'm not sure why, but I feel like I'm surrounded by some pretty humorous people.

At 7:20 Ashley picked me up so we could get a mini fridge into our office. We already have a communal fridge, but Ashley is very disturbed by its lack of cleanliness, so she convinced my coworker to let us bring it upstairs so we can have it in our cubicle. So after lugging this refrigerator to the 9th floor (used an elevator), we went to a HOLIDAY breakfast. I had muffins and a cookie shaped like a Christmas tree. AND I got my photo taken with Catrina so it was circulated throughout the company Intranet. Oh yeaaaah. haha.

Then after that I basically did Excel sheets all day, but my coworkers are hilarious so it went by fast. Ashley has this game called WURDLE on her iPhone and I am obsessed. It is pretty much like playing boggle electronically. She has the record longest word "castle." But today I got "entice" and I still am behind her. One day though!

All in all, work was fun today. I laughed a lot. Then I came home and ran in the dark. It was kind of hard to see, so I only did 3 miles. After this, I went to sushi with my roommate. That was so grinds! I got a kamikaze and a tempura roll. Jyeh classics, if you will. After that she needed some jelly beans so I listened to Girltalk, Journey, and Kelly Clarkson on the car ride home. Bangers! Singing in cars has to be one of my favorite activities.

Also, Kanye West. I pretty much felt like dancing but just ended up coming home and watching the Office. Pretty much an epic day if you ask me! Hopefully this weekend will be fun... and I'll be able to get some kick arse essay writing down. I'll leave you with this video... Girltalk always gets me pumped for the weekend. I probably wouldn't watch him play though. I mean, IDK. Maybe if he was going to DJ somewhere for $10. But not $30 at the fillmore or anything. I'd rather just listen to my iPod and dance by myself in my room.

xoxo,
J

I'm so pumped!

2008-11-11T19:37:00.000-08:00

My mom is going to make my flight arrangements to Oahu for after New Year's.

All I can say is I hope bad ass times like these ensue:

I miss my kids back home. It's different when you've known people forever. Such a special place in my heart...

Haha. XOXO

I know I'm procrastinating because I actually played guitar tonight.

Oh, and umm www.daytrotter.com
You'll find some winnerzzz.

Fairy scrag fragrance

2008-11-10T20:14:00.000-08:00

Today Paris Hilton came into Union Square to promote her new fragrance. When I returned from lunch it took me 5 minutes to catch an elevator up and once I got in it smelled like her fairy fragrance.

Apparently people in my office are big fans. They kept talking about how good her skin was, and I'm pretty sure people had a ten minute conversation outside of my cubicle to discuss how close they were to her.

I really don't care. I guess that's the highlight of my day. Not really a highlight, just the only think out of the ordinary that happened. Annie and I made pasta and it came out really watery... I prefer my pasta al dente. Naila and I were going to watch Gossip Girl but monday night football took over so it's back to paper writing. What do you think about University of Maryland?

Old is the new new.

2008-11-09T18:12:00.000-08:00

This weekend went by really fast! I'm pretty exhausted, but I managed to work on some application materials for the people who are writing my recommendations. It's kind of stressing me out, and I've been wondering if I even get in, if I'm ready to go back to school...

In other news my cousin came out this past weekend and I surfed with him. He just got the Vampire Weekend cd, and listening to it made me remember how good they are. They need to come out with a new album though. They pretty much blew up after seeing them last November, which is cool I guess- I feel like they've been touring consistently since then. If I had to travel and play the same songs for 13 months in a row, I'd be really tired. Anyways their music is super catchy! I've also been listening to this band called CCS which is entirely different from CSS, but they're pretty fun. They're from the UK.

Okay that's all! I'm not ready to go to work tomorrow. I also can't wait to go home for Christmas, it's going to be pretty epic!

So check out this photo Michelle posted on her flickr. It's from August but oh well.
This was midway through the evening. It's pretty typical. The rest are mildly incriminating so we'll leave it to flickr owners to view them.

She also asked me if I wanted to attempt posting my photography in the coffee shop she works at. I'd be down, but idk- I'm not trying to be a photographer or anything. It is motivation to start shooting more. I do have some really good photos of her though...

thursdays= office nights

2008-11-06T21:44:00.001-08:00

Rewind! This still makes me laugh.

I've decided my new favorite character is Andy. That guy is hilarious.

Hiatus

2008-11-05T22:52:00.000-08:00

tonight annie and I went to dinner at king of thai and I had fried chicken over fried rice.
Wow that was completely unhealthy! But there were 2 cucumbers, so hey...
hahaha. i'm tired. I haven't worked on my essays in two days and I miss the sunshine.
SF is starting to get pretty cold right about now.
I get to go home in less than 2 months! do you even know the amount of surfing that's going to ensue?

Since I've been writing about my musical tastes lately, here's a photo from the Wombats. Tiana and I saw them in late September at Oakland's art and music festival. There were all these little tweens around us, and some 40 year olds... just the way I like it!

Kidding. They played well. It was weird seeing a show outdoors. Sober. Joking. Again.This is an old picture... well a month ago I took in Portland:

This is the drummer from the Virgins, and my first fan picture aside from Joel Centeio, HAHA!
Anyways this band is pretty kick ass and i bet if you listened to them, you'd like them A LOT.

Writer's Block

2008-11-02T21:56:00.000-08:00

I am tired of essay writing, so I've been youtubing. I like watching band's videos, sometimes they are cool and sometimes not. But if I already like the band, then at least I like the song right? Anyways this video's pretty funny. W.A.S. is pretty funny period.

Watch at least at the 3 minute mark. I guess you kind of have to listen to the Wombats to realize how funny this is.

Update: Still sick of essay writing
My bum hurts from sitting on it and trying to write.
I just got the Kaiser Chiefs' album (released in September) and I am digging it a lot.
I'm going to see Mickey Avalon with Ashley in a few weeks. I bet his show will have a lot of cussing, hahaha.

revival

2008-11-01T19:05:00.000-07:00

I think that blogging should be back in. I really miss reading about my friend's lives, how they're feeling etc. I mean you can add photos too if you want. hahaha.

Today I feel lazy. It's been raining here for the past two days and it kind of limits my activities to laying in bed, reading in bed, eating, prepping applications, and going out for coffee if I feel adventurous. Tomorrow grocery shopping will probably be a formidable task.

In other news, check out this video my roommate sent me. It's from one of my favorite bands, Ra Ra Riot. They are amazing live, and I am pretty much in love with the guitarist. Aren't they cute? I love how happy the drummer looks. New York has a crazy amount of talent coming out of it for some reason.

July! July!

2008-08-01T00:02:00.000-07:00

What an interesting month it's been...
Sometimes I think about Hawaii and peruse the photos of my friends back there and think about how much I miss it.
At the same time, I feel like I'm really getting set here. Like I'm finally falling into everything here.

12 months goes by fast enough I suppose.

February Update

2008-02-02T21:53:00.000-08:00

Tonight I'm in New Mexico, wow that a crazy trip. It makes me appreciate West Coast cities 10x more...
I've been eating a lot and definitely have not been keeping up with my New Year's resolutions.

From now on I'll start doing a monthly update to check up on them.

2008, redone.

2008-01-11T23:30:00.000-08:00

I feel like this trip home is my second Christmas Break.

Today we surfed 69's and Mahaeula's. It was perfect, minus the crowd. However, it helped solidify my decision to move back to the Big Island in several years.

I have several New Year's resolutions. My grandfather's passing has really forced me to think about my life and the way I want to live it, so here we go.

1. Be empathetic
2. Train for surfing more. Surf at least once a week, and every day when summer starts.
3. Eat healthier, cut out unnecessary foods.
4. 2 and 3 should help me lose weight.
5. Go to more shows.
6. Embrace life, and love others.
7. Make new friends and mean something to them.

That's all I can think of at the moment.

2008

2008-01-07T21:45:00.000-08:00

today i feel really sick, i'm not sure why. i feel like i've been having some weird headaches recently. just have a lot of shiz going on these days. i'll write more when my brain's a little less scattered.

I remember

2007-09-21T20:44:00.000-07:00

When I was younger, my father used to pour me a glass of orange juice every morning before school. But I'd only drink 1/2 and throw the rest down the drain. I always used to tell him not to pour me any because I wouldn't finish it. I kind of miss that.

Sometimes

2007-07-17T20:22:00.003-07:00

I feel like I don't belong here at all. Like I made the wrong decision coming here.

Monday evenings in Scotts Valley

2007-07-16T22:33:00.000-07:00

At dusk I took a walk through Scotts Valley in a mediocre attempt to get into shape. Getting back up hill was another story.
I passed a lot of white picket fences and huge houses with manicured lawns and wondered if I'd ever end up owning a house that beautiful, with a beautiful family.
Light from the setting sun fell through their glass panes and spilled onto their clean, warm, kitchens.
Every family seemed frighteningly perfect.
I really want that kind of life. You know- the one where I'll go to work and be able to pick up the kids after practice and cook a dinner where we sit at the dinner table and talk about the events in our day.
You probably think that's weird.
Really, I crave normalcy in an unconventional time.
However, I began to think about what it would be like to live in a beautiful house with a nice fence and pool, sans the family.
Would the void for a family be filled by a nice car, living room, and great art?
I highly doubt it, so I'm just considering the things that are important to me in life right now. If I could have it all I would, but we'll just have to see. I feel like I can't have fun and make money at the same time. So this job searching this is pretty challenging.

Anyways, it's a scary/exciting time right now, but much less so than I expected, I guess because I'm just hanging out. Nobody needs to motivate me more than me I guess.

i forgot my journal in Vallejo

2007-05-27T22:38:00.000-07:00

So i have to type them in here. It's been a fun trip thus far.
Things I have learned about myself/life:

I enjoy reading.
I like my alone time.
I love music.
I don't know if I'll ever fit in here.
I care way less about status than a lot of other people.
I still want a nice life.
You learn the most about others after living with them.

I surrriously miss surfing.

Different Names for the Same Thing

2006-07-24T02:32:00.000-07:00

That's how I feel about every month. Upon my arrival back to Hilo, I find myself stumbling about (but perhaps more exhaustively), the same old routine. Wake up, eat, digest, surf. Since the latter has been rather disappointing lately I've found myself really perturbed.

Summer's beginning to end and a new semester will arrive, along with several thousands worth of rent, tuition, and books. Sometimes I feel like I opened a door and then there's just another wall. Like I'm walking through a narrow corridor that I want to get out of. In any case, I know I don't have anything to complain about, really. Perhaps a Zoloft pill would work.

The trip to Indonesia was amazing. I still think that surfers are some of the most beautiful and soulful people on the planet. It's easy to get caught up in all of it. All too easy I suppose. So now it's back to concrete and crowds and more summer sun. I wish I could be surrounded by such great people all the time. In reality, I fear that once I begin work and "life" I'll be so jaded from a life among great friends, that I'll be quite disappointed by other people. I get bored easily. I am sorry that I can't be something everyone wants. I sometimes feel like I'm running away, or am scared to do things or be the person someone wants. But then, maybe it was never meant to be that way in the first place. Qu'est que-ce?